“Should I be with my fur baby when he/she is euthanized?”

For my loving Bo

February 15, 2017

Response to the question, “Should I be with my fur baby when he/she is euthanized?”

Recently a young woman posted that she wants to be with her fur baby when she is euthanized, – her 10-year-old cat is dying from cancer - but she is not sure if she can handle seeing her fur baby lifeless.  Here is my response:

Everyone handles situations differently, we are not all "made the same", it would be a boring world if we were. I will share my perspective with you. I have had 16 cats and several dogs in my adult life. I am 60 years old, much older than you; I am sure. For me, my fur babies come into my life, and I know, they will leave this world before me. I would watch them being born if I could have been there at their births - but many of mine are/were strays - and so I will, if I can, hold them in my arms when they leave this world. I have had to help 12 of my fur babies (dogs too) cross the rainbow bridge. I will be there for their dying breath if I can let them know they are not without me, but again, we are all emotionally different beings and I judge no one.

For me, I view death as a part of life. I lost my father at 2, my mother at 8, my aunt and uncle who raised me passed away when I was in my 20s and 30s, respectively, and many more friends and family. I accept the circle of life and if I can be with someone I love during their dying breath, I will. However, for many people, especially those who have not dealt with death in their lives, it can be an arduous, even debilitating action to perform. If you have any doubts that you will regret not being there, then go be there, comfort your baby, cry your eyes out (I do) and tell him/her how much you love them.

When she passes, it be uncomfortable, I cry uncontrollably, often for the entire day, but it will pass. I had to put a 10-year-old kitty, my Bo, to sleep last week. I cried all day, got a raging headache and finally threw up and went to sleep. When I got his ashes back this last Tuesday, I had an awful day, but I know that I loved him with all my heart and I know when I bring these babies into my life, I will have to see them leave. If you honestly believe that you will go weak in the knees, vomit while holding her, pass out or whatever you are afraid could happen that would physically hurt you while participating in her passing, then do not go. Say goodbye to your baby and let the vet take care of her. They will comfort your fur baby. Usually, they give a sedative and then give the euthanasia so really, they are so sedated they do not know what is going on - ask your vet what they do. I find comfort in holding my little loves because I want them to feel safe with their mommy. I always wish for them a calm death, and when they have a bad death, I feel miserable. By that I mean if I have had to rush them to the hospital because of an immediate emergency and they are in pain. I hate if they are uncomfortable or in pain, as I am sure most people do, but what I am trying to say is that if I can help them have a calm death by euthanizing them instead of coming home and finding them dead, I will.

Again, I digress - regarding the process, the professionals will offer them comfort too, like I say, ask your vet what they will do and if someone will stay with your kitty throughout the process. I hope this helps and does not add to your confusion. You will make the right decision for you and let no one pass judgement on you. If they do, that is their own issue, not yours. I am so sorry about your baby. As I said, I just lost a 10-year-old last week, I loved him very much, it is always difficult, no matter how many times you must deal with death. Big hugs